Capture Your Grief, Days 6 & 7: What Not To Say/What To Say

About a week after Gabriel died, I finally found the strength to leave the house. I was DREADING running into my neighbors because they knew I was pregnant. It's not that I mind talking about Gabriel (quite the opposite), but this was very early on and the pain was still so unbearable. I needed compassion and sympathy more than I ever have in my life. This lovely gem was told to us by one of our neighbors (who BTW, has a healthy baby boy), after my husband and I explained that our baby had not survived. 

Clearly, this is what NOT to say to a grieving mother:

How I wish I was in the right state of mind to respond, "Why couldn't it have happened to you instead???!!!" but then again, that might have been inappropriate and insensitive.

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I have also been unbelievably lucky to have met so many other BLMs, who are all so amazing. They have restored my faith in the kindness of humanity. They know all the right words to say to comfort you even on days when the tears won't stop. 

A few women have written these words to me, and I think this might be the most perfect thing to say to anyone who has lost a baby. It is so nice to hear someone call my son "a blessing" amidst all of the people who imply that Gabriel was a tragedy or a curse.  

Gabriel was the very very very BEST thing to happen to us. Words cannot describe how lucky we feel to be his parents. 

He really is a blessing.