Hope

It's been an entire year already. Last year at this time, I was losing my second baby. I was scared and disappointed and wondering whether I would ever have a living baby. If you had asked me a year ago if I thought I would have a baby in my arms in time for next Christmas, I would have said no. I would have said that I was about to give up all hope of ever successfully bringing a healthy child into this world.

But here I am. I now have a three month old little boy and he is healthy and breathing and squirmy and adorable. And I feel like the luckiest person in the world.

It's hard to believe how much my life has changed in the past 365 days. I'm not saying life is perfect. I'm not saying it's easier now that a baby's cries fill my home. I'm just saying that it's different. That it's better in so many ways. And so incredibly more exhausting and overwhelming in other ways.

This life we all get to live is truly amazing.

It's just so beautiful.

But mostly, it's far too unpredictable to ever lose hope.

And far too short to ever stop dreaming.

Happy Birthday Sweet Baby. You've taught me how to love life and to never give up hope. <3