I have been truly dreading this day, but now that it's here, I am relieved. After today I can finally stop telling myself, "How can he be dead? He wasn't even supposed to be born yet."
I miss Gabriel so much. I have grieved for 11 weeks for him and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. But today I am also grieving for the child I never got to meet... the one who should have been born today. The breathing, screaming, flailing, beautiful bundle of new life that should have been placed in my eager arms today.
Well as planned, I am going to go to the beach today to write names in the sand and to be close to my son.
Sending my love and gratitude to all of you special women who have sent gifts, lit candles or written kind words in honor of Gabriel's due date... I don't even want to know where I would be without you.
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| today is your special day baby boy... i will never forget it |
I'll light a candle for Gabriel and tag you on FB Dear Heart <3
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DeleteRemembering your beautiful Gabriel today and always Catherine. My son Ethan was born in May and died after just 4 days. I muddled through 12 weeks of the "how can he be dead? he wasn't even supposed to be born yet." I too am striving to serve God's plan, with the goal to reunite with my sweet boy one day, a day when I will never have to let go of him. So much love to you today Catherine.
ReplyDeleteAnnie - Thank you so much for your sympathetic words. I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Ethan. It is always so inspiring to meet another BLM who has faith in God's plan.
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