Today marks 29 weeks and 2 days since Gabriel died, which means that he has lived in Heaven 1 day longer than he lived here on earth.
Today the scale has been tipped, the balance forever broken. The other world has had my baby for more time than me, and that variance will only become more and more skewed in their favor. Soon, Heaven will have had him for twice as long, then three times, then an eternity more than me.
I remember when I was pregnant, how time seemed to stretch itself. I thought I would be pregnant forever. The days just couldn't move fast enough.
And now... 29 weeks and 2 days later, time is moving so quickly, I can barely keep up.
It's funny how time works. When the greatest day lies ahead, time crawls. But when the greatest day lies in the past, time bursts into a sprint.
Time is such a beautiful and cruel mystery. Taking us both to and from our happiest moments, but never allowing us to stay there for quite long enough. A constant reminder that everything has a limit.
One day I'm going to look back and I won't be able to measure time in weeks and days, or even months. It will be 3, 4, 5... 29 years - since Gabriel died.
How I wish I could measure time any other way...
((Hugs)) <3
ReplyDeleteMuch Love, Many Hugs and Lots of Prayers Momma! Keeping you in my prayers often <3
ReplyDeleteLove from Oregon. Last precious moments with Gabriel are cherished forever. I think if we truly understood how amazing heaven is we would be so happy for our children. The only difference between dying young and dying old, is the amount of time they get to spend in heaven.....Kind of a wonderful thing that is so hard to see with our grieving eyes.
ReplyDeleteYou're in my prayers today. Keep hanging in there. You can do hard things.
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